“There is always a glimmer in those who have been through the dark.”
Some people say it’s better the devil you know. But sometimes familiar pain can be so much worse than the surprising kind. That feeling of – not again, I know this feeling and I didn’t want to be here again. Ever.
Sometimes I feel like I can handle a situation, argument, betrayal if I know there won’t be the next time. It’s almost like I put my faith in the belief that there won’t be. I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t base my responses, trust and hope for the future on the expectation that there won’t be the next time. Because sometimes, there is.
I find that while trying to deal with the present pain, I’m often overwhelmed by the fear of the possibility of it happening again. What if I can’t cope with it next time? My mind and heart become jumbled with thoughts, fears and what ifs. I find myself unable to deal with the pain of now because I’m already worrying about the pain of next time.
Continue reading here.
We continued chatting about finding courage for next time – over on the Words by Joni Facebook page. Feel free to hop on over to watch the vlog and join the conversation x
This post was originally published on kinwomen.com